Online Therapy During the Holiday Season
Online Therapy During the Holiday Season:
For many of us, the holidays are a joyous time spent with family and friends preparing meals, buying presents, planning trips, and more. However, for some the holidays become a stressful time where they must face their families who can be emotionally, mentally, or even physically abusive towards them. Others plan trips far away from their families due to the challenges they’ve endured going back home in the past. For those that are present, they may have to hide behind the mask of who they really are to please others and “keep the peace”. Therefore, it becomes increasingly stressful to manage emotions, thoughts, and behaviors during this time. Making and maintaining counseling as a priority increases your ability to process through the thoughts, memories, and emotions that arise for you during the holidays. You may feel alone in this, but you can reach out for help and learn how to navigate this time in healthier ways.
Importance of therapy during this season and a few tips to remember:
1. Facing the Inevitable:
Before the start of the holidays, dig deep and find out what specific fears, challenges, or obstacles you associate with going back home for the holidays. Having to think about these things may feel uncomfortable so I suggest writing them down and processing this with your therapist. If you don’t have a therapist, Exhale Counseling Center offers online mental health therapy for those in Florida. It helps to put yourself in an uncomfortable position in the safety of your own space instead of waiting until the moment arises.
Here are some questions to help you get started:
- Who do you fear seeing?
- What traditions, or to-dos during the holiday bring you the most stress? And how do you normally deal with these stressors?
2. Family-Related Stress:
For many of us, the physical distance between themselves and their family throughout the year is helpful. During the holidays, it is easy to be pulled right back into the “swing of things” and you begin to act like you did when you were a teen! How does this happen? Part of it is years of classical conditioning from your parents and siblings. That is why you can be strong, independent, and successful within your own right all year long, but when you’re back home you almost don’t even recognize who you are and why you are reacting like… a teenager.
Scheduling a session in between this time can help you process the unprocessed stuff that comes up for you, help you reframe your thoughts, and help you not get sucked back into your old ways.
3. Unrealistic Expectations:
All the Walmart, Hallmark, & movie commercials display lavish dinners, warm and cozy hugs, uncontrollable laughter, and glamorous décor. This is so sweet, but not always reality. The holidays that you imagine, desire, and hope for may not be what you get. This results in unrealistic and unfulfilled expectations of others (that they are not even aware of!). Remember that they are who they are, and until they are ready to change… truly change, they will not. You are the one who has been doing the difficult yet rewarding work on yourself through therapy, you are the one that has come so far, so you are the catalyst for change, they are not. Therefore, it’s important to learn how to “control your controllables”. In these situations, you have control over the following: yourself, your reactions, your happiness.
Therefore, some people choose to switch things up and not go home for the holidays and instead spend it with friends who have become their chosen family, others travel, and some choose to not travel home and create their own traditions. For those who choose to go back home it is important to prepare yourself and maintain your inner peace as much as possible. A few ways to do this while in therapy is by learning about healthy boundary setting skills, communication and listening skills, as well as openly processing your experiences with your therapist. Don’t start this during the holidays, begin before and maintain your sessions throughout the holidays.
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You are going to need the support of a professional. A depression therapist will learn about you and help you understand your depression. Plus, they will equip you with the proper skills and techniques to reduce your anxiety. A great depression therapist will also hold you accountable, which is very important. There are so many options for online therapists that you don’t have to go in person unless you choose to.
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